Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I hate when crying makes you throw up

Monday, April 27, 2009

A silly love song

It seems like
You brought the light in the darkest time
Because you see
I couldn't look in the mirror without
this shadow in front of me
I couldn't see through the lightest mist
But now I know
That silhouette was your body missing
The reflection shows
Our shining faces when we're kissing
Cause all I need
Is your comfort from the freezing cold
The ones I envied
Aren't even close to fit the mold
You and I can
Hold our hands through the night
And that's the plan
Cause our routine won't be trite
And honestly
I've never been this chipper
With somebody
Else in my entire life

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I'm Not Quite Sure What To Do

Tonight, it feels like it's over. It just seemed like we were just too different. I had a huge breakdown and I'm not quite over it yet. I left his house around 1 am just because he was pretty much asleep already, and I was not done crying. I didn't want to disturb him so I went home. He does really truly care about me. But I don't know if that's enough. I do feel safe in his arms, and he makes it easier for me to fall asleep. But if I take those two away, I don't know if everything else we have is good enough to stay together. He gets on my nerves a lot. I used to shrug it off and think of it as cute that we disagreed so much on trivial things. But now I just don't see how I can stay with someone who I seemingly have nothing in common with.

And to think this all started out on a dispute about if Halle Berry was hot or not.
Which she isn't.

Monday, March 30, 2009

A Hole in Your Hand

I do love you, but it's just not the relationship I dream about.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

There Is No Pearl In This Clam

It's really awkward to have such a huge crush on your new stepbrother.

Oh brother.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Let's Fall Back In Love

The way I'm feeling has no explanation. It's very hard for me to fall out of love. The fact that I love how people are is the reason. The small things they do, really. And since the memories last, and the fact that they still do these things don't change, it's hard for me to stop the way I feel. It was easy to stop loving Teddy because I didn't really love him per say. I was addicted to him. Obsessed, rather. There was not something he specifically did that made me fall in love with him. Or keep loving him however. Just the fact that he seemed completely uncommitted. And the more he kept pushing me away, and tearing me down, the more I wanted him. Simply because I felt like I couldn't obtain anyone else. And it was astounding how much he cared about me because I was such a pathetic thing. Anyway, this isn't about him. What I'm getting at is, when I love how someone does something, even the smallest of things, I can't not love them later. Because they continue to do it. Or be that person. It's a curse really, loving people for who they are. I wish I could just despise everyone. Then I wouldn't have this problem.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Oh How Silly

It's funny that the only time the people you desire for so long decide to show any interest, is when you're already in a relationship. It hasn't happened to me that often but it seems like this time around, it's happened a significant amount. I started dating my boyfriend a little over two months ago and since then, two people I used to have huge crushes on has shown interest in me. For the first time. One being completely sexually, and the other has just basically poured his soul out to me about his deepest fears and insecurities. Other than those two, one of my good friends who I had a history with for a while ended her relationship with her girlfriend pretty recently and told me that if I wasn't with my boyfriend she'd want to get together with me. It's just random and unexpected really. From all parties. I don't know, I just wish they all had better timing I guess. But I suppose that's why they're approaching me right now.